The Lost Diaries
by jetonna
Summary: The lost diaries portray the stories of many lives. This is the story of one, named Jara who changed Gaea's fate. [DUNE x Escaflowne crossover]


_ Sometimes I wonder what it's like to be normal.   
Have you ever had the feeling that, somehow, in one way or another, you didn't belong?   
I do.   
Everyday.   
To be mocked, looked down at, made fun of, ridiculed, bullied, killed.   
Heh. The last one in the list most certainly caught your attention, didn't it? Killed.   
Am I dead? Most certainly not. Why would I be telling you this right now, then?   
Are you dead? Of course not. But then, you'll know later... but that's another story. This is mine.   
And my name is Jara.   
-the lost diaries _

    I wonder what I am doing here. I've told myself many times, over and over, that this is a foolish idea. The many lives within agree. But yet I am doing it. Sometimes I don't even understand myself. That's kind of silly, considering the many lives that I've had for inner reflections. 

    _'Concentrate, Jara,'_ I tell myself. 

    In this life I'm a slave... imagine that. Right now I'm cleaning a window. The fact that I need to concentrate may be because I'm currently on top of a very unstable ladder, cleaning the attic window. Brushing my navy tresses away from my face as I work, I gaze into my reflection. An oval face with innocent black eyes and full pink lips framed by navy locks of wavy hair stares back at me. I'm not vain, but even I must admit that I feel as though there were royal blood in my heritage somewhere in my ancestry. keh. 

    I work for a very rich family. The Delatels. They live in Zaibach, somewhere in the country. The whole family is composed of aristocratic snobs, as far as I'm concerned. The master and mistress are rather arrogant and their children, a son and a daughter are spoiled... brats. Of course, I wouldn't mind doing something about that... it would be so easy... but no. There's nothing worst than taking advantage of one's capabilities without rhyme or reason to do stupid things. I've decided to live this life as a lowly slave and I'm going to stick by it. Besides, a slave's life isn't so bad. There are worst things out there. And because of the reverend mothers with their experiences within, I have no problem adjusting to the bare amounts of food I am granted. Utilizing their techniques, I can manipulate any part of my body as I wish. It's a great gift, but does not come without its consequences. There is little for me to know that 'I' have not yet experienced. Well, not quite myself, but the other lives, and for anything I am unsure of I need only to consult my inner voices for the answer. 

Ah, finally done. This window was a nice little bitch to clean but I finally got the job done. As I climb down the ladder, Daniel runs over. 

    "Jara! Master is calling for you!" he pants out. Poor Daniel. Even as a slave he is... rather ill conditioned for the job. Lanky and tall, he is good at lifting and moving, but poor as a runner and has no idea of manners... the aristocratic ones, to say... he's rather good at socializing with the slaves. I suppose we all share some kind of bond. However... I need to go attend to something. The master has called for me... I wonder what he wants. 

------------------------- 

    As I walk into the room, I take in my surroundings. I haven't been into the house many times, but I have a perfect and clear memory of what the rooms I went into look like. The sitting room has been altered. Some new paintings have been put up in place of the old ones and the carpet has changed. The curtains have been replaced and there's a small stain on the wall to my left that one would not really notice. The master is sitting in an armchair. He's rather fat and small, and he has small eyes set in a large and round face, making him look like an oversized baby. He actually reminds me of a rat. That is the image that comes to mind when I look at him. Hn? Oh, he's talking to me. 

    "Come here," he orders. I comply, eying him warily. I feel uneasy about this. A quick mental "talk" with the inner voices agree; he is up to something. He smells. He's been drinking some wine, that's for sure. I sniff delicately, sorting through the amount of pheremones and other strange and abnormal substances in the air. Keh. It appears that the master is drunk. I smirk inwardly. There's no way the master could even _try_ to get me. I walk a little closer, glancing around the room as I do. My gaze falls on a wine bottle located next to an empty glass on the table next to him. It is almost empty. I glance back at Master Delatel. He's eyeing me, almost gloating to himself... There's a slightly glassy look in his eyes. Hn. Oh, I know what he plans all right. He'll never have me however. As he reaches for me, I move slightly, and he misses. Instead I go over to the table and pour the little that remains in the wine bottle into the glass. 

    "More wine, sir?" I ask slyly. He'll never resist. As predicted, he nods a little jerkily. I hand him the glass. He takes it, but also grips my wrist, pulling me to him as he leers at me. His eyes fell a little below my shoulders, and he grinned a little lustfully. I could read it all in his eyes. Inwardly, I sneer at him. Such a pitiful excuse for a man... As he reaches for me with his other hand, I move slightly out of the way, so that he misses me. Exerting a little pressure, I flick my wrist, removing his hand from my wrist. Impatient, he leans forward to grab me but misses yet again as I avoid him. Moving just out of his "grab" radius, I turn my back to him. 

    "What did you call me for, sir?" I ask. He blinks slightly stupidly, trying to remember... or else trying to phrase his answer 'appropriately'. My attention is distracted as the sounds of heels clicking on the marble floor approach. I frown a little, trying to place the footsteps, but am not able. The next thing I know, the mistress of the house rounds the corner and enters the room. Taking in her drunken husband in one swift glance, she levels her gaze at me. Taking in my appearance, she frowns slightly, but dismisses it. Instead, she rings a bell on one of the tables. Cor, the butler, enters. 

    "Yes madam?" he enquires politely. 

    "Help the master upstairs." she commands in a clear voice. I actually like this woman. She is a tall, thin figure with claw-like hands and icy eyes, but behind that imposing figure is a swift and calculating brain. Sparing a glance my way, she adds -to me, 

    "Get to the kitchen. Since the attic window has been mended, Sara should find something for you." Needless to say, I head to the kitchen. 

---------------------- 

    Running my fingers through my hair as I recline back, I relax into my bath. The day has been slightly hectic in the kitchen... especially since Sara was not in a good mood. Normally Sara is a rather easy-going plump and motherly woman. With cheeks as red and hard as apples, she is neither an imposing figure nor one to be feared. However, on a bad day she can be quite awe-inspiring and today just happened to be quite busy as the Delatels were organizing a party for the house. 

    I was sent all over the house with lists and other small chores to do when Sara had dismissed me from the kitchen. Apparently, the 'party' that the Delatels are organizing is going to be attended by some important figures. I believe that I saw on the guest list a few military commanders, one general and a few of the elite soldiers are coming. The party will be focused on one of the commander's birthday... Red 8th moon I believe...(2) 

    The house is in an uproar as the Delatels are trying to make a lasting impression on the visiting militia -not to mention getting into their 'good' graces. _sigh._ **Politics.** I believe that should be one of the evils of Gaea. Seriously. If not for politics, many of Gaea's wars could have been prevented. It's just too bad that the people never learn. All the foolish Kings and leaders of the countries are just too blind and caught up in themselves to realize this. It is a great shame.   
It doesn't really matter, anyways. The saying, 'History repeats itself' is only too true. It will always be this way, forever unchanging. Sometimes... ah well. It's time for bed now. 

----------------------- 

    The day has been absolutely horrid so far. We've been rushing around with the preparations for the party, and a few of the more clumsy and unlucky slaves have been 'punished' for their carelessness in handling some of the paintings and furniture. Keh. Fools. I'm to drive with Daniel and get some meats and flour for the pastries that Sara needs to prepare. I get into the pony trap(3), and with Daniel in the driver's seat, we set off to the city. 

    I don't believe that I've seen the city recently. Probably the last time I saw it was when it was first being built... about a century ago. There was a farmer's wife who has the memories of that time. The other memories. I wonder how many have shared? Hn. The city has evolved from a bustling one to one crowded and filled with smoke. The buildings have grown taller and they stick out against the sky unnaturally. An overlying layer of smoke, smog and fog seem to lie over the city. It's really sad to see the nature disappear. 

    This 'Dornkirk' is just bad and rotten news to me. From what I know, he's just mad. From the other's(4) experiences, I can tell you that mad people are most probably the most dangerous. He is so creative and full of new ideals and technology that I suspect the he is not of Gaea, but of a different world. I do not trust him. The people, unfortunately, were willing to believe and follow anyone to get out of the pitiful mess that they were in after the war. From a poor, humble and beaten farming city, Zaibach has evolved into a rich and powerful country, with more new and inventive technology that it is _willing_ to share with its allies. 

    Daniel and I are stopped by some guards outside the city gates before we are allowed entrance. _sigh_. Zaibach appears to be very nervous about spies. The guard returns after checking the creditdentials, and we are granted access to the city. The main street is very busy, and filled with carts and wagons -not to mention unfortunately people who are unlucky enough to get trampled- and the smells of the food stalls are simply so heavy... almost to the point of becoming overpowering to my sharp senses. I quickly adjust my intake of air and filter it slightly, making sure that my nose doesn't die on me. Daniel drops me off at the market while he goes to do some 'errands'. With a large basket in one hand and some gidaru in my pocket, I set off into the bustling crowd. 

    The marketplace is so busy with so many people that it is somewhat hard to get around. So far I have nearly been knocked over a couple of times, and I'm sure that some lecherous males have tried to grope me several times. Of course I would enjoy showing the men their punishment but a busy crowd in the middle of a marketplace is not quite the best place for these things. So far I have managed to buy five pounds of flour and am currently heading for the butcher. The butcher is a busy man, as there are many orders for him to fill and many people to serve. Impatient, he snaps at me. Answering coolly I fill in my request and receive my meat... or rather, Sara's meat. Keh. Like busy little insects all these people run around, fulfilling their duties as they try to impress their masters and mistresses. Hn. Hmm... now where _was_ I suppose to meet Daniel? Damn this crowd to the pits of hell! It's nearly impossible to get around without dropping my meat or flour! This area is packed and if I were a lesser person without my abilities I would be experiencing severe claustrophobia. As it is already I can hardly contain my annoyance at such trivial things. 

    I shove my way through the crowd, annoyed. I believe that I was supposed to meet Daniel at this corner here... hmm... It appears that he is not here yet. Oh well. I suppose that I have to wait. Ooh... if only he would hurry up so I would be able to escape this infernal racket of chaos and get back to the nice and quiet country! I'm absolutely going to _kill_ him when he returns to pick me up. I really hope that he's not straying at the thought of the 'big grand city'... it would be horrid to find him drunk or beaten up somewhere in an alley or something like that... eh? It seems as though there is a procession coming down the street. It must be important because the people are moving out of the way extremely fast. 

    Hmm... from what I can see over the tops of people's heads, this procession is of soldiers... probably some kind of military fanfare for an officer or something even for Dornkirk himself. Most probably the latter. Might as well satisfy my curiosity. 

    "Excuse me," I ask a young by about my age in the crowd, "What is that procession for?" 

He glances at me, slightly startled at being asked such a question. He has sandy blond hair and is slightly shorter than I. Dressed in leather pants and a blue tank, he grins at me in a friendly way. 

    "You must be from outside the city. That procession is in honor of Dilandau-sama's upcoming birthday. He's a military commander in Zaibach's militia. He's one of the top... almost as good as a general!" he says, his blue eyes sparkling.   
I feel the right corner of my mouth twitching up slightly, and allow myself this small smile. This boy sure seems to know a lot. 

    "How do you know so much about this Dilandau?" I ask. "He seems very important. Are you some kind of fanatic?" His smile widens at my remark and he tosses his head back, laughing. 

    "Some kind of fanatic? That's one of the most amusing things anybody has ever called me!" he says, chuckling. I find myself smiling at him. Hmm. He's a real charmer, I must say. I don't find myself smiling at others very often. We are interrupted by several of his friends that appear from the crowd. They are all clad in blue tanks and black leather pants and boots. One is tall, and has the same hairstyle as the boy I have been talking to, except that his hair is ash-blond... almost grayish. Another has brown hair and grey eyes. His hair is parted so that part of it falls over his right eye. The last is is a boy with long brown hair that falls to his shoulders. He has brown eyes that are friendly and full of life. All his friends(not to mention the boy) are extremely handsome. Any girl would be drooling at their feet about half a miet(5) after meeting them. They all smiled broadly at the boy when they saw me. The long-haired one even nudged him and said, 

    "Looks like Chesta's got himself a girl!" 

At this 'Chesta' blushed and was immediately defensive. 

    "Dalet! Can't I even _talk_ to a lady without you making comments?" he cried. Obviously this was a normal thing. I find myself very amused at this. Poor Chesta. The other two, however were staring at me. While Chesta is attempting to strangle 'Dalet' in the background the other two seemed to have noticed me. The tall one with the ash-blond hair grins and says, 

    "No wonder Dalet made assumptions about you an' Ches," he says throwing a significant look at me. I read the underlying message and have the grace to blush. It's what they want, isn't it? Anyways, it seems as though all of Chesta's friends are charmers. Cute. However, I still don't know all their names... 

    "Thank you. I just met Chesta... I was asking him about the procession of soldiers. I'm Jara." I said. The ash-blond and grey-eyed boy both smile. 

    "I'm Gatti," says the ash-blond boy, "and this," he says motioning to the grey-eyed boy, "is Migel." Hmm.. so it's Chesta, Dalet, Gatti and Migel. Most interesting. Their names... something inside of me flickers, and I divert some of my attention to finding it. Damn. I've lost it. Hmm... I'll try and find it later. Meanwhile, it looks as though I have these charming boys to talk to for now. _sigh. Daniel, **where are you?**_

    "So," I say, smiling disarmingly, "Who is this Dilandau? I've never heard of him, sad to say." 

_Apologetic look. Make them think you know nothing at all._

Keh. It figures that the other's just had to show up now. But that means that this Dilandau _must_ be important for them to take so much notice. Hmm... 

The boys look at me bemusedly. 

    "Never heard of Dilandau-sama?" Migel inquires somewhat surprised. I give off the appearance of being bashful. 

    "I'm sorry. I'm only a servant girl from the country." I apologized. 

_Good... now build it._

    "I probably wouldn't know anyone of such a high status as he." I say. 

The boys grin at this. Chesta and Dalet join Gatti and Migel. It appears that Chesta has stopped chasing Dalet. Both looked disheveled and somewhat embarrassed to be found fighting like this in front of a girl. Amusing. It _is_ true that this is an era of chivalry. Hn. 

Looking about, I spot Daniel. _Finally_. Returning my attention to the boys, I say, 

    "It _has_ been lovely meeting you. I'm sorry, but it looks as though my escort has arrived." 

_Smile!_

    "Thank you very much for telling me about the procession. Farewell." I apologize, and blend back into the crowd. Heading my way to Daniel, I review the conversation and the boys, in semi mentat mode. 

_Pieces falling together..._

    Their attire most certainly has something to do with their status... in fact I'm pretty sure that... My calculations click together. 

_They are in the military!_

    _So. That probably explains how they would really know who this 'Dilandau' was. Not to mention the fact that they possibly __serve_ under him. Very interesting. I fall back into mentat mode again. _Calculations... I need more questions damnit!_(6) 

_Calm. Be calm and review what you know._

    _Party... the honor of him... Military commander... That's it!_

The party being held on Red 8th Moon is most probably this Dilandau's birthday... and the Delatels are probably hosting it in order to gain a higher social position and to get accepted in the social circles! This probably gains them the advantage of sending their son into the military with honors and easy promotions! My, my... my mentat mode is getting better. I should not underestimate it so. 

----------------------- 

    The ride back to the Delatel's estate is pretty uneventful. I stare out at the countryside, looking at the farms and animals. Daniel attempts conversation, but his weak beginnings hang in the empty air between us. I take the time to think about the upcoming party. Perhaps Gatti, Migel, Dalet and Chesta will be there. This Dilandau would most probably be there... it's not likely that my mentat computations are incorrect. This is quite odd... why _is_ the military suddenly seeming to pop up in my so called 'quiet' life? Perhaps Zaibach is at the beginnings of a war. Very interesting. But it _is_ to be expected from Zaibach. These times are quite perilous considering the fact that a lot of the countries are becoming uneasy with Zaibach's new technology. It is history, afterall. History repeats itself... wars always find themselves after a peaceful period. 

    When we have finally gotten back to the Delatel's estate, I head to the kitchen's so give Sara her meat and flour. She appears to be in a better mood than yesterday, and thanks me heartily, patting me on my head. Since the drive has taken so long, I merely hurry to bring in the laundry with the other girls. That task complete, I am now free for the evening. 

    Somewhat bored, I just sit on a window still in the servant's quarters and gaze out at the stars. They twinkle brightly, almost mockingly at me. Keh. 

_Bored? Why don't you just talk to me?_

Ahh. One of the inner voices has decided to emerge from the others and talk to me. An interesting thought. But chatting to the inner one's has always been something that a newly created Reverend Mother does, not an old, and somewhat experienced one like I. This voice... I can't quite put a name to it. Ah... Murbella. 

_I see that you are quite busy, young one._

Young? I would hardly think not. 

_Young in age, not experience. That does not mean, however that you have little to learn. I am one of your ancestors, and was trained in both the ways of Honored Matres and the Bene Gesserit.(7)_

So I see... you were the one... the hybrid. 

_Is that what they called me? ...Yes, I was... but it was I who brought the two together._

True. What did happen to the Bene Gesserit? It's as though, after that, we disappeared from history. What happened to the Guild? The Navigators? Did we all suffer some kind of illness? ...Well, that's not really possible... 

_Just like a child, really. So **many** questions! Your answer is this: When the Duncan Idaho ghola fled from us, he took one of my children. When they emerged from the jump, they were in an entirely new universe... they set down on a planet they found primitive and appealing for a new start... and that was the beginning of your ancestors on Gaea._(8) 

Thank you for the History lesson, Murbella. 

_We can't help it can we? We Bene Gesserit call ourselves teachers... and that is what we do, do we not?_

Yes. 

    Murbella within laughs at this and retreats, leaving me to my own thoughts. Looking back at the stars, I see something new in them. Another universe? I wonder how the Bene Gesserit are faring there. I wonder if I have Siona genes(9)... it _is_ possible... to hide from the Guild and it's Navigators. Keh. I'm talking too much as it is. I'll retire now. Tomorrow is a long day. 

* * *

**Author's Note's:** They taste like chicken! 

**(1)** In this fanfic I decided to borrow some ideas from some science-fiction that I've read. This idea of 'inner lives' is from Frank Herbert's **DUNE** series, taken from the Bene Gesserit _Reverend Mothers_. I'm probably going to use the Reverend Mothers at some point in the story as well, not to mention more of the ideas from **DUNE**, such as _spice_ and _hunter-seekers_, not to mention some of the history. Hmmm... if I'm going to put this much **DUNE** in the story, maybe I should make it an x-over with it! Maybe I will... 

**(2)** *mutters*I can tell some people are probably going to fry me for putting in **that** birthday so casually... 

**(3)** A pony trap is a small lightweight type of carriage used for small amounts of people going out for a 'drive'. The pony trap being used is slightly smaller than the one Folken used in the anime series and is not enclosed, but open. 

**(4)** When the word "other's" is used in the text, Jara is referring to the inner lives of herself. 

**(5)** A miet is approximately about 30 seconds. 

**(6)** When Jara complains that she requires more questions, it is part of how the mentats function in **DUNE**. Mentats ask questions to gain answers and data of which they compute in their brains to receive an answer or clue as to what is going on. Mentats are special humans that have been trained to have an extremely fast-working brain and are sort of like human computers. This explanation isn't very good so I would suggest you to read the **DUNE** series to find out for yourself what they are. 

**(7)** This little bit is referring to **Chapterhouse: Dune**, the last book in the dune series. 

**(8)** I'm mixing a little of the end of the **Chapterhouse: Dune** with some of my own ideas to make it fit with this fanfic. 

**(9)** Siona is this character from Dune that had the ability to escape from the Guild Navigators... the Guild Navigators could sort of look into the future and also probe for someone. Siona had genes that somehow hid her from this probing. As I've said, I'm not very good at explaining this, so for those of you who have read the Dune series, if you have better explanations please email me them and I will change it. 

- 

**Thank you's:**

First of all I would like to thank the people that read my teaser and gave me such good feedback for it!   
Major arigatou's (thank you in japanese) to **KetaSama**, **Dark Anime**, **Stelmarta** and **Saori Yuy** for your feedback. 

Secondly, I would like to thank you for actually taking the the time to review, as I know that a lot of people read stories and do not bother to take the time to review. 

- 

I'm sorry ppls that I haven't been writing lately... I have all these blocks and so many new ideas popping up that I'm not sure what to do. My profuse apologies to those reading _Jadera: Tales of a Dragonslayer_ and are impatient for a new chapter to be uploaded. To be honest, I'm not very pleased with that story, but I decided that I would continue for the sake of those reading.   
Anyhoo, thank you very much, and please keep reviewing! I enjoy your feedback for this story.   
_-jetonna_


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